Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

So, Peter's been away for a Therapeutic Rec conference for the last two days and won't be back for another 2 and I miss him. Well, that's an understatement. I hate when I can't be with him. I am such a baby...I struggle when he has classes all day. Silly I know but what can I say, he's been the center of my universe for the last two and a half years. With him being gone I've come to realize how much I love this man. Peter is such a great person to be around. He's positive, strong, and great to look at if I do say so myself. I can't wait for him to get home.

I don't know about anyone else but I feel that a lot of times when I decide/resolve to do something better, that's when things start to test me. In my last entry I resolved to be better about dwelling on the positive things, but then things came up that weren't pleasant. I believe that when we're feeling our strongest, that's when Satan decides to step up his game and throw whatever he can at us, and since we're feeling strong I think Heavenly Father sees how we handle it and how much we grow from it. It's so wonderful knowing we'll never be faced with anything that He knows we can't handle.

Just a quick update on the Bensons before I sign off. As I said before, Peter's at a conference for his major and says he is learning a lot of useful stuff, which is great! He also got an internship for next summer!! I'm so happy for him. He'll be doing it at the state hospital in Provo, UT. So, sadly we'll be moving from my beloved Idaho and family but Peter's family lives in Orem so I'm so happy to have my other family close by. Peter is the best dad and husband. Every night he rubs my feet and back and bathes Livy and tucks her in. She is such a daddy's girl. The last two days she's been wandering from room to room saying, "Dada, dada?" and gets pretty sad when she can't find him. Livy is growing up so fast. She loves running around, playing with her baby, eating, reading, and going for walks. She is such a sweet heart. She gives big sloppy kisses and has the cutest little smiles. I love being a mom!! As for me I'm 26 weeks along and feeling anxious and excited all at once. We can't wait to meet our new addition. Well that's all sorry it jumps from one topic to the next, but hey, I'm doing it! =)

Counting My Blessings

I'm so grateful to be alive!!! Peter told me this quote he heard in one of his classes and I decided it would be a wonderful principal to apply to my daily life. "The grass is always greener on the side that you water." And it may sound cliche but, it is so true! I've really started reviewing past days and have come to the conclusion that my bad days are the days I'm focusing on the stupid little things that bother me or when I brew over something that's offended me or hurt my feelings. And I realized, "How lame am I?" I'm "watering" all the things that create a cloudy, stormy, gloomy atmosphere around me-I'm growing weeds in my life! So, I've decided it's time to pull the weeds, even the little ones that spread like fire and can pop out of no where and the ones that are rooted so deep I haven't had the courage to do anything about them. So, my goal is to focus on the blessings in my life more; so much more that I'll end up choking out the weeds.

Let's be honest though...I'm not going to be able to do this quickly or by myself. I've always been kinda emotional and weak but I feel like I've grown so much stronger, especially these last couple of years with getting married and starting our family. Thank heaven I have such a wonderful man in my life who's optimistic and strong and whose faith in me astounds me. Knowing I have a daughter who depends on my everyday has already helped me so much, also knowing we have another little angel on the way is helping me be more organized and to learn how to plan ahead. When I'm prepared I feel at peace and calm, which is great! I also know that it's impossible to look around me without seeing about a million things that I have been blessed with. I have wonderful families and friends who are so willing to offer support and strength when I need it. And these people outnumber everyone else who I feel aren't truly there for me, which is why I need to focus on those who uplift me rather than those who tear me down. My Peter is the most perfect match for me. Each morning I wake up next to him is a small miracle. Bringing children into this world is probably the scariest thing I'll ever do, but knowing I will have the Lord to help shape me into a good mother, as long as I am faithful, has brought great comfort when I start to doubt myself. I love living here! I love Idaho. I'll be sad to leave it for any amount of time. The natural beauty that surrounds me takes my breath away. I live in a country where I am free to be what I want to be. I have amazing parents who have set me on the course I'm still taking. I could go on and on but I won't =) From here on out I'm determined to water the positive aspects of my life and to pull out that weedwacker and get to work!