I Am As Strong As I Can Be...

Today was a tough day. One of those days where doubt reigned its ugly head and I listened. I listened. And in my mind, I was not enough. For anything or anyone. The darkness of my thoughts were oppressive. Numbing. Paralyzing. Then, I was rescued. I was rescued by people who didn't even know that they were casting lifelines today. But they did, and I am so grateful.

I need to thank so many people who have been carrying me lately. Too many to count. Friends who don't let the words spoken by others take root in my mind. Friends who persevere through times of loss, heartbreak, deployments, sickness, depression, and all their other trials, with smiles on their faces, even when they are hurting and still reaching out to ask how I'm doing. Like they don't have enough going on, haha! Friends who text me out of the blue; especially, friends I don't get to see because of moves. I can't tell you how much I love and miss you. You were my family, my sisters, and support when I was in a new and lonely place and you saved me (like that time when I accidently got pregnant?!). My family for making me laugh, even on the toughest days. My wonderful girls, who forgive me so easily of my shortcomings and never let a day go by without telling me they love me. My Mr. Benson. The man who has stuck by me and lifted me time and time again out of the darkness because he sees me in a light that is so much brighter than I see myself. Peter never gives up on me and I am so grateful for his humor, loyalty, love, and faith. And my Savior. He is the one who dives deepest to find me when there is no hope to be seen. He is always there to give me the love, hope, and strength I need to get to another day.

I am as strong as I can be, but I know it is because of so many of you reading this, that I am here today. That there is always light shining through the clouds of self-doubts and insecurities. You have to know how many times you have carried me along the way. You gave me strength to move forward and continue to progress. The smiles, texts, conversations, messages, hugs, Cinnabon runs, Red Robin dates, CrossFit, and so many little things that may seem so inconsequential to you at the time, have come at crucial times for me and have been answers to desperate prayers of needed strength. I am so bless and thankful for all of you.

So, yes, I made it through another day. I am as strong as I can be because of the strength you have so freely and selflessly given me. I promise my next post will be much more uplifting, but I wanted you all to know how important you are and what a wonderful difference you have made in this girl's life. XOXO