Claire's Birth Story: Part 3

Hallelujah! I can't tell you the relief I felt when I was told we would be staying to have this baby. But at the same time, I was discouraged that I had progressed at all since my last appointment. So, it took me a little while to get into a better place mentally before things picked up.

If you remember from Gracie's birth story, I mentioned I wouldn't have Susan break my water this time around, yeah, that went out the window at this point. We didn't come to this decision lightly. The number one reason was for my well-being. I was exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open, even during contractions, and we all knew I still needed to push and bring our sweet baby earth side. So after she broke my water we expected things to go quickly, but Claire had other plans. Stinker. Susan suggested we sleep as much as possible before things escalated. So we did. I would literally zonk out between contractions, and Peter was able to sleep for a couple of hours, thankfully. After a while the contractions were painful enough that I got into the birthing tub to help me through them. I am a huge advocate of this method of pain management. The hot water was amazing. But after another hour and a half in there I was ready to try something else. Susan checked me again and I was only a 6. I could still feel sweet Claire's head in my hip through some of the contractions and Susan knew this was why she wasn't moving down into the birth canal and why I wasn't dilating the way we thought I would after my waters broke.

Susan rubbed some herbal oil (I don't know what was in it but she did tell me at the time haha!) on my stomach and had me swish another herbal mix in my mouth for a little while before swallowing to help progress labor. Let me just say how much I appreciated Susan. Never once did she show concern or urgency or stress. She was calm and soothing and never did anything without talking it through with both Peter and me. Also, Peter was also always calm and soothing. After we took some herbal measures, Susan had us get in the shower and during contractions had me put my leg up on chair to help open my pelvis and move Claire out of my hip. Ooooo wee!! Now this was the progression we wanted. For those that wonder what the pain is at this point, my best description is a first bad sprained ankle pain that lasts 60-90 seconds. It's extremely intense and incredible and awesome. It's so amazing what a woman's body can do in childbirth.

I was at the point where I would curl into Peter's chest in between contractions and then hang on his neck and sway during contractions. And I found making a low moaning sound would help me get through and keep me as relaxed as I possibly could be. I made the decision to get back into the tub as I was planning on having another water birth. I had about five more contractions before the tub was ready. I was happy to get back into the water. At first. As soon as I was in the tub the contractions started coming one after the other. One other thing I appreciate about the Birthing Inn is that Peter and I were usually alone. I loved that. I loved that I didn't have a ton of people coming and going or just hovering waiting for things to happen. So, at this point Peter and I were alone. I remember telling Peter that I felt like I was hyperventilating and that I couldn't get enough air. I was feeling super claustrophobic. I made him take off my sports bra because I felt like I couldn't take big enough breaths. (TMI? My bad.) I then told Peter, "I need the contractions to slow down. I feel out of control. I can't catch my breath in between. They're just coming too fast!" After I spoke these thoughts out loud, it was like my body listened. The contractions were just as intense but I had a longer break in between to rest.

About this time, I noticed a change in my contractions. It almost felt like an electric shock was going from the top of my spine down to my toes. And after a couple I felt our sweet  baby shift and more pressure on my pelvic floor. And during the next contraction I felt my body start to push on its own. Susan came in to check on things at this point. I told her I needed to push. And then had another contraction. This one was so intense I literally came up out of the water. Susan reminded me, "Heidi you have to be completely in the water to have the baby."

I said, "I know but I can't be in the water. I feel too claustrophobic."

Susan simply said, "Okay. Let's get you onto the bed."

I say, "I'm scared to walk to it."

Seriously, the bed was maybe three feet from the tub, but guys, it seemed like a mile when I had contractions racking my body. Susan, cool as a cucumber, says, "You'll get through one more contraction, then we'll help you there."

Peter adds, "You can do this. We will help you. We got you."

Me, "Okay." Cue contraction and nothing else matters. Just the pressure of my baby trying to be born. It finally ended and I took one step onto a stool and then up on the bed. Right before I got there I told Susan, "I don't think I can push her out on my back. I need to be on my hands and knees."

All Susan said, "Good. You know what you need." I will be forever grateful for her complete faith in me and my ability to know what was best for my delivery.

Now I could go to work. It was so satisfying to be actively pushing. It was still painful but now I knew I was getting somewhere. Now I wasn't just waiting, I felt like I was helping. I was being proactive. I was pushing and helping my sweet baby come. But I was tired. So blessed tired. And for all my pushing she still wasn't coming just yet. I heard Susan tell me that I needed to prop one of my legs up. I did but after three contractions, my leg was shaking so badly from weakness I couldn't stop it. My muscles were literally quitting. I could feel the exhaustion spreading and I was afraid for the first time that I wasn't going to have the strength to have this baby. I literally cried out, "Father help me! I need thy strength and help. I cannot do this on my own!" And you know what? Despite the circumstances, I felt the most warming and comforting feeling come over me and the words, "You are never alone. I will help you." This was such an incredible and personal experience. I haven't told anyone about it but I wanted to now. I want people to know that no matter what you're going through, you are never alone.

 I switched legs and decided right then and there I needed her to be born. After two more huge contractions her head was out. At this point I told Susan, "Just get her out." Haha!

She calmly said, "I've got her but you have to help me." So I did. I gave one more big push and there she was.

They had me turn over onto my back and Susan placed our beautiful Claire Christina onto my chest. I was too tired to cry but I was able to whisper, "Thank you Lord."

My sweet Peter, my rock, kissed me through his tears and told me I was an amazing woman and how proud he was of me. I love him so much. Again, I can't say enough how much he means to me and how much he lifts me up.

Claire latched on right away and after delivering the placenta, Susan's midwifery student, Bre (who was with me from our first appointment and I love her!) gave me the pitocin shot in my thigh to help slow the bleeding as I was anemic before having a baby. Bre is going to be wonderful midwife someday.

Susan later told me that part of the reason it was so difficult to birth Claire's head was because her chin wasn't tucked into her chest. That was why she had be prop one leg up to help create more room for her come out.

After Claire was fed, Susan gave her a bath and Peter got to dress her and love on her while I got in the shower to get cleaned up. I did need two stitches that Susan took care of beforehand. And then three hours after she was born, we were on our way home.

Now remember how our parents were in town? Well, my parents had to fly home that morning and missed seeing Claire by 45 minutes. The only downer of the day. Peter's parents were still in town though, thankfully. They had taken our girls to church that morning which just happened to be Gracie's first Sunday in nursery. Gracie and Claire are 18 months, to the day, apart. Everyone did great at church and when they got home they all came into our room to meet their new baby sister and newest granddaughter. Such a beautiful and sweet moment.

I love my sweet family. And despite all the ups and downs that came with Claire's pregnancy and birth, I am so grateful to have her with us. I'm so humble to be the mother to five sweet girls and wife to an incredible man. The Lord has blessed me so much. I know that He lives. That He died for me and that because my Savior chose to come to earth and provide the Atonement, he was able to lift me up in my weakest moment through this birth. I love the peace my knowledge gives me of forever families and of the eternal love and faith my Savior has for me and for the rest of my family.

Thank you for your patience in this story. I am so blessed with wonderful friends and family who love and support me. All my love to you all and know that you are always enough!